Sunday, 4 March 2012

Green aliens in Mars- Muslim Lion Humour

Mars Bars- a new alien species has been found by the astronauts that landed on Mars. It has already created shock waves amongst some belief systems, Ghayr Insan has more on this.

“The first thing the astronauts saw when landing on the moon is a bunch of green people.  The aliens were crowding around their King, a human looking person, sitting on a throne, playing playstation 3. 

Mr Nick Muffins of the CNP has commented "see the green aliens, they're Muslims. I told you the Muslims want to dominate the UK, they've even dominated Mars!" 

In other impacts, different religionists claim that it proves their religious beliefs. One Christian scholar said “the Bible says God is a human looking figure, with hands, feet, a mouth, a bumb etc, sitting on a throne above the Earth, and leaving 4 handspan gap on the throne. And he’s controlling the universe through that PS3. This is exactly what we see in the video of the alien King. That is our god. For centuries scientists have been saying “we haven’t found god, so he doesn’t exist”, but now we can say “science has proven God, in your face Richard Dorkins!”

However a Muslim scholar said “God does not literally sit on a throne, nor have hands or feets or bumb and other  things that humans have. God is not a body, nor a limited being, nor is He in a location or direction. The Prophet said about God "You are the Outwardly Manifest (dhahir) so there is nothing above You, and You are the Inwardly Hidden (batin) so there is nothing below You.” We consign the meaning of verses that talk about God's attributes, to God, and remember there is nothing like Him. Clearly the scientists won’t believe in God if they see a person just like them and has no clear powers. They might as well worship superman. In fact, the USA has found out that an astronaut arrived in Mars earlier and stayed, so this must be him.” 

In the meantime the human race has been preparing various gifts for the alien species. The Muslims have come up with a bunch of Ramadan eggs. One producer said “we want to do dawah to the alien race, and Easter eggs are soo tasty, so we came up with Ramadan eggs. It just shows Muslims have such a fine cuisine!”

On the other hand, reports have come that a Pakdor woman astronaut has fallen in love with an alien and the alien produced a child within a day. The woman said “I was born aliensexual, I can’t stop my natural feelings.” Pakdor aunties however were out in arms with slippers saying “the kids will not be white, they will be dark, and cannot become doctors. Who will marry them then!” On the other extreme, alien rights activists were petitioning for the legalisation of human-alien marriages. One activist, Mr Deviant said “humans should have total freedom over their bodies, no can prohibit any sexual relationships”

Sheikh Saheeh commented “sexual relationships outside of marriage of the human male-female bond are prohibited by God. The proofs are clear as the Prophet only allowed marriage between man and woman, and prohibited all other types of marriages. There’s ijma/consensus of Muslim scholars that a person can’t have sexual relationships with non-humans, including animals. And the Prophet commanded following the ijma. Furthermore Mr Deviant is wrong, pedophilia is prohibited by those same rights activists even though pedophiles are attracted to kids, so he can’t claim total freedom.” 

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