Monday, 5 March 2012

Protests at Isle of Snowybabies- Muslim Lion Comedy

Isle of Snowybabies- protests have started over a number of issues, including the opening up of a new McDonalds in the Muslim island.

One resident complained 'this is the plan of the west, they want to make our people obese so that we can never win in football. The Muslims are already obese enough that their shorts can't even cover the awra in sports. So when Muslims sin, how do they expect to win? Sin and win come from the opposite root words, and are opposites! Every Muslim has to cover their private parts (awra), for men its between the knee and navel, for women its everything except hands, face and feet. If you cover your bumb, then you have to cover the rest of your awra'
Another protester said 'I'm protesting because I've been waiting for years for halal McDonalds, and just like most Muslims, they said they'd open up 5 years ago with the emphasis on the word “INSHA'ALLAH”, but they're opening up now, soo late! I understand there’s PST, but we can only have MST (Muslim Standard Time) once we make something of ourselves.”

“I, as a Muslim man, have learnt how to make burgers myself now. Now every girl will want to marry me! Anyways why can't Muslims keep their word and timing? If you don't have the intention to come, then don't insult Allah by saying insha'Allah. Don't lie with Allah's name. The Prophet was the most truthful and punctual of people. The Prophet said (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), "Truthfulness leads to piety and piety leads to the Garden.'
The head of McDonalds, Mr Art Attack said 'we got voted in, so its a democratic decision, the majority of people are obese and have decided for more disease causing food. If you have to die, die with something you enjoy right?'
However a protester Mr HT (hitman) replied 'voting is haram, McDonalds has started with haram, so everyone who goes there becomes haram!'
Sheikh Saheeh replied 'in Islamic history, Caliph Abu Bakr was elected by votes and ruled by Islam. And the protest date decision was decided by votes. So Mr HT is haram anyways'
In the mean time, Dr Maha Tea told the press 'I am fully qualified to give verdicts in Islam and history. None of the sahaba or Prophets or Islamic empires ruled by Islamic law. Its made up by lawyers'
When a sane person in the audience asked 'but there is the authentic document of the constitution of Medinah by the Prophet which obliges Islamic law in government, and the Quran clearly says the adulterer is punished, and the Bible and Torah say that adulterers are punished. The Islamic law is the most effective in providing safety and protecting from crime.The modern criminal system in the world has mostly failed, jails have failed to reform criminals'
Dr Maha replied 'well they're all wrong, I'm getting direct visions from God!'
The sheep followers of Dr Maha have criticised the questioner, saying that he had no right to refute him, and can't stop the freedom of Dr Maha to express his views.
When challenged to a debate by a scholar, Dr Maha replied 'I don't need to debate, my PhD, 'doctorrrrrr' title just shows I am right. So I'm not a coward or afraid of being wrong. I know more than God, He has no PhD!'

This is not the first time Dr Maha has been controversial, previously he argued that lions should be jailed for murder and polygamy, that Muslims should worship Kant and Western law with Maha as a Prophet, and that tea was invented by fiqh scholars and hence should be banned in the island.
He has also been known to limit Islamic knowledge by restricting the freedom of scholars, like in Friday khutbas. That shows his real respect for freedom.

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