Saturday, 10 March 2012

Water banned in Toilets? - Muslim Lion Comedy

Bradistan-  Large protests have erupted in Muslim cities of United Villages, because water has been banned from toilets and from the corresponding washrooms. Some people have died from not going to the toilet for days.

The president, Mr Cameroon said “Muslims have been using water to clean themselves in the toilet, yet have spilt water everywhere. Also such water was hazardous as it had traces of coca cola because Muslims were using coke bottles for the toilet. In one incident, a guy got his foot stuck in the sink of an airplane, and olive oil was used to remove his foot. Why can’t Muslims leave cleaning themselves when using the toilet?”

A Muslim, Mr Gora Kaan said “first the ban on minarets, then halal meat, and now the ban on water so we can't do wudu? What Islamophobia! Of course real Muslims don’t use coke bottles, its Zionist of course!”

Another Muslim, Mr Kaslaan said “wicked! I can now just do tayammum, no need to do wudu because water is banned!”

Some protests have turned violent as some angry Muslims have been going around burning effigies of toilet seats and converting all toilet seats into squat seats. One protestor said “if we can’t use water, then we can't go to the toilet, so we converted them into squat seats, now no one can go!”.

 Squat Toilet

Other Muslims have turned to using Karachi Cola (KC) as toilet bottles, since it is a Muslim company. The owner of KC commented “it leads to a boost in our sales, so we don’t mind. After all, we should support Muslim businesses, like the Zionists support their own community right? We’ve even made a special type of toilet bottle. It combines three bottles into one, for those who can’t leave the toilet to refill. Plus it has triple the power! I know Muslims are bad at technology, but we're really innovative in toiletry matters. I mean look at the non-Muslims, they just have been using toilet paper for the last few centuries, but we've had various types of bottles, glass jugs and water pipes.”

 KC Bottle

A non-Muslim, Miss Door Keys said “pity water is banned. I’ve always been curious how the hijabis do wudu with their hijab on. I mean how can they put water in their ears or hair, if they have to wear hijab all the time? Do they just dip their whole head into a tub of water like you dip chips into a barbeque dip?”

Another non-Muslim, Mr Dow Jones said “I know that we spit and gargle in the sink, but why do Pakdor people wash their feet in the sink? They leave hairs from their hairy feet in it, so gross and a health hazard!”

Sheikh Saheeh commented “Muslims really need to do dawah through their words and actions. We should be clean people, make sure the toilets are clean and in a state that other people can. The Prophet said “cleanliness is a part of faith/Iman”. The Prophet also didn’t waste much water, since water is a blessing. Many people don’t even have water to drink, yet we waste water for excessive wudu."

"But obviously Muslims should clean themselves with water, when using the toilet. Otherwise their salah can be invalid if they don’t remove the impurity. But remember the good side, Muslims have prided themselves for not having to spend millions of pounds in government hygiene programs to promote washing hands after using the toilet, since we follow the Prophet.”"

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